Fractal thingy 531

The almighty Monolithic Butterfly Starship, piloted by none other than the Monolithic Butterfly Priestess!

Years after her destruction of the dinosaurs and having her marital plans foils by her half brother Moshimagan the Unseeing One she was finally fed up. There were only a handful of intelligent beings left on Earth after the extinction level event and they already hated her... So she summoned up her butterfly magic once more and conjured up a mystical vessel to transit the stars in search of a civilization stupid enough to love her.

She cursed the cosmos endlessly for millions of years finding nothing but advanced life forms and civilizations so vast that they spanned several star systems. Everywhere she went she was hated more and more by these snotty over educated enlightened species. Apparently almost wiping out all life on your home planet is not something easy to keep hidden.

65 million years of searching, through 659,003,283 star systems in 22 galaxies and still no luck. But then.... Revisiting a nearby spiral galaxy.... Around a middle aged yellow main sequence star.... A somewhat familiar blue and brownish green planet with a pale blue atmosphere discoloured slightly yellow... On its dark side she could see millions of white light shining from what seemed to be irridecent bulbs and a dim glow of red that could only be forest fires. This was her old home planet.... Earth.

She was puzzled.... Shocked! This planet, 65 million years ago, was a blank slate, nothing special, just a bunch of tiny fluffy warm things and stuff.... But here it was, her little Earth, civilized for the first time ever. But this planet was different from all the others she had visited. It stank of sulfur dioxide and methane. Its oceans gave back infrared signatures indicating it was covered in a film of petroleum and plastic compounds. And most brilliantly of all... This noise of radio waves, blasting in every direction. Broadcasting images and sounds.

Like a mystical space moth to the flame of a swollen sun, the priestess turned her starship around and headed to the planet. Still 20 light years away she sped homewards. As she approached the broadcasts became increasingly stupid! What delight! Could this be the civilization stupid enough to love her? Wars, violence, famine, diesese, panic from natural disasters but failing to learn from them, over population, pollution, depletion of natural resources, how wonderful!!! Billions of status updates, tweets about bowel movements, pictures of cats in odd outfits, republican primaries.... It was like these people worshiped stupidity! Then finally her monitor flickered to reveal what seemed to be a series, documenting some people's lives.... Titled "Keeping up with the Kardashians". Reality television.... The Monolithic Priestess's one giant eye swelled, fixated on every last second of it.

Then.... On the 21st day of the 12 month of the human year 2012. The Monolithic Butterfly Starship clipped the moon and crash landed in the Atlantic Ocean. There is no further record of what transpired on that day in the galactic archives. This is believed to be due to widespread memory loss due to the entire population of the planet face palming at the same time. Some say the shockwave for all the hands meeting faced generated a magnitude 26 earthquake that split the planet in half. Others claim that the Priestess's spores once again killed off the life on the planet. Either way the inhabitants of the Milky Way shall never know since the day after the solar system was quarantined and classified as a REST "Region of Extremely Stupid Tennants"

Story is better than before

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